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Saturday, August 6, 2011

Love?

What is love? i don’t know i swear i thought i knew. i must be a fool thinking i knew what was or is love.
Love has no meaning but it’s a feeling that one person feels for another. That takes 2 to make a relationship.
But again what is love? Can love be happiness or can it be depressing? Can it hurt or can it heal? No one knows the meaning of it cuz they have their own meaning for it.
For example A could love B but B don’t love A its just a one way love. What kind of love A has? Is it depressing love that hurts?
While C and D love each other and that love is true Happiness.
But what if E and F love each other and F is cheating on E for G? E and F is happy but if E found out G is doing something with F, E will be in pain?
What if H and I are in love after I was depressed and H made I happy? That’s love that heals....
so what is love? How much can a person have love? Scientist can’t know cuz love can’t be measured.
One can say A loves B as much as C loves D. but if we ask them in a scale of one to ten, A will say 10 and C will say 10 but to A the scale looks like this:
12345678910
while C looks like:
1    2    3    4    5    6    7    8    9    10
So what is love? Cuz i honestly don’t know what i feel anymore.
i feel stupid for falling in love to quick. But i have no regrets. i was happy while the good times lasted.
Do i have a one way love? Or do i have a love that takes 2 people but the other doesn’t love the other as much. Isn’t caring part of love? Cuz i know you don’t need to care if you don’t love.
You could care for a friend you could care for a stranger but if you love someone don’t you have to care more since you love that person? Aren’t you supposed to talk to the person at least once a day?
But I don’t know....love....i knew the meaning cuz I felt it. Now that i don’t care about nothing i'm losing the definition of it.
i'm more depressed then i was before. Don’t want to lose the one i say i love.
i feel like A cuz i used to be like C after i was like I. but i still don’t know what is Love.
this is my definition of love:
love is depressing can make one go crazy, no one knows that from happy it could turn to miserable, love is like the roulette table, that we bet on happiness and most of us lands on the wrong one and for a short time you be happy or from the start your miserable. But for the ones that hit and win they get to be happy till they die.
Love has no boundaries no matter what in the good and bad weather we struggle or not people should stick together and try to solve it.
But in my case i’ve done it many many many times and no matter what I try it won’t work.
Love is not for everyone. People shouldn’t suffer for others, take pain for others, but yet i do.
what is love?
to me: a miserable feeling that causes depression but at times when things goes well happiness that dont last long cuz something is bond to make it go bad.
but yet i want to stay cuz i love her. not the love that is depressed but love that makes us happy.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Not a dream but a nightmare

So it was a fucking dream.. I knew it would be matter of time to wake up. All lies that I swear was truth. Cried for no reason...not wanting to...life would be great if today never happen...WTF!! Need money to travel to get the fuck out of this world.
How do I suppose to act? To this news I received? No I'm not ok... I'm fucking dying from pain inside of me. I want my baby to make me happy...but she can't cuz she over there I'm over here.
 Don't know what I did to be treated this way. To be hurt and be lied to...If I knew this from the start I would have not told everyone that I'm ok. Life won't be the same... Knowing that I'm not what I thought I am or was?
Losing my mind cuz I no longer have a saying of what I want. And what I want to be.Pain is all I get from this news. Sadness and disappointment follows along.
Can life bring me more bad luck?Life has no feeling she doesn't care. Thats what I see. To treat me like shit. Life make me believe I'm ok but next thing tells me I'm no longer able to live...With in 4 hours my life went dark.
 I was happy knowing I walked with the living. Now I walk with the dead.
All my dream was destroyed ripped in peaces. Life says she cares. But as she sees me tell people that I'm ok she don't stop me saying what to say.
Well life I call a girl cuz it can't be a guy cuz I ain't gay to say I love him. Cuz I did love life. So I call life she. I could call it it but sounds better call life she.
Well anyways I hope life feels good knowing I'm suffering...I cried for no reason...no reason at all...if I knew this I wouldn't be this sad...this hurt...
Well to tell the truth I ain't dying. But yes I'm hurt. I got no illness nor sickness. I'm ok. No big problems.
 I don't know how imma act still love to live but not my life..
Well good bye I saved money to travel to a different world.